19 Puns for the 19th

1 Acupuncture is a jab well done.
2 Every calendar's days are numbered.
3 Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
4 A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
5 A plateau is a high form of flattery.
6 He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
7 A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
8 Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
9 Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
10 Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
11 A lot of money is tainted: It taint yours and it taint mine.
12 He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key
Best So Far...
13 - 17) Chrys:
* The harm caused by sibling rivalry is relative.
* The scuba diving student was in over his head.
* When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.
* Nylons give women a run for their money.
* While training to work at Coca Cola he was given a pop quiz.
18 - 20) David:
* What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck? A duck filled fatty puss!
* What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese? He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath.
* What do you get if you cross a parakeet with a cat? A peeping Tom
21) SgtFluffy: I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
22) Pet: And just what on earth can I add? I think it might be safer to just strata the fence on this one. Or perhaps ash why we're suddenly on rather rocky terrain?
23) emaw: Okay. Speaking of pets, when my dog puked on my shoes this morning, I knew his barf was worse than his bite.

The top ones get listed, though no good submitter will go unpunished.
Hey, you'll have to help me. I need 7 more pun-liners. Enough already. I submit. I made a mistake. I'll never post another pun again...at least until Friday.

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